Villain mistake 1
by Mrotrax
Summary: Oneshot, first humorous story. Tobi makes the worst possible choice in how to 'weaken' Naruto. His choice makes Madara abandon their plan and has huge ramifications in the universe. OOC.


Villain mistake #1

Plot: Tobi does the most clichéd villainous move and his partner makes him suffer for it. As for the Ninja Alliance and Sasuke? Well, read and see. Major OOC and NaruXSaku.

You have been warned.

Happy New Year!

I do not own Naruto. Please support the official release, as well as other fanfic writers.

Madara Uchiha had been having a wonderful day: He'd defeated the gokage (including the granddaughter of his rival), reworked maps with his 'warm-up' moves and was now actually able to fully use the Wood Style and Rinnegan that had sustained him after the Valley of End.

Oh, and things for the Moon's Eye were finally coming together, despite numerous hiccups on his partner/apprentice's part. In a few minutes (unless by some miracle Hashirama or that Sarutobi kid showed up), the world would be sleeping under the Infinite Tskuyomi; no more winners, no more losers, everyone would be equal and peace wound finally be achieved.

That was until he suddenly caught up with his partner and saw the bound and gagged girl with pink hair in his arms.

Madara was by no means a gentleman. He'd grown up in hell and had seen things that would make the current generation's hair turn white. Still, there were a few things he wouldn't do.

"You…did…what?" Madara asked, barely containing his fury.

"Kidnapped the Haruno girl." Tobi explained, unsure why his mentor's demeanour had suddenly changed. "Not an easy task, being that she was trained by Tsunade…I did lose an arm in the process, but it was well worth it."

The immortal Uchiha closed his eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled.

"Tobi…why in the ten hells would you do that?"

"Is the reason not obvious?"

"Enlighten me." Madara growled. "I've been dead for at least a decade and a half, I don't know everything that happened."

"The Nine-tails host has been smitten with this girl since childhood." Tobi explained.

It was as the legend feared.

"Oh dear Kami no." Madara groaned, already seeing where this was going. "Well, she is sort of cute…NO! Bad Madara! Bad, bad, bad, bad Madara! You're old enough to be her grandpa's grandpa!"

Sakura was suddenly more annoyed than worried.

"No offense, young lady." Madara said. "I just pride myself on having the utmost respect for kunouchi…and I have no time for romance."

He then remembered what had happened.

"Okay Obito, new plan: Give me the girl, get your gear and then capture/seal the Nine-tails, vessel and all! We can deal with Eight-Tails later."

"Can't do that." 'Obito' growled at his master. "She's the key to getting him. If I leave her with you, she'll…"

"You'd better not say escape…" Madara growled. "I taught you everything you know. Without me, you'd have been killed long ago."

"He'll be blinded by rage." Tobi remarked as he glanced at his hostage. "And we're already far more powerful than him. Naruto will lose."

"Yes, that works in theory." Madara cut him off. "THIS is what's going to happen; he is going to find out you've taken her, track us down in an unrivalled state of fury and…in your time's words…kick the ever living crap out of us. No other way. Trust me when I say I know how this works; why do you think I never brought Mito into my fights with Hashirama?"

The revived Uchiha pulled down Sakura's gag and allowed her to gasp for air before asking a simple question:

"Has this boy…Naruto, I think his name is…been in a situation like this before?"

"Once or twice." Sakura answered after a little bit of thinking.

"And how'd it end for the hostage-takers?"

Sakura thought back and….

"They're probably the only direct and listed kills in his file."

"Thank you, young lady." Madara then pushed the gag back up. "That is all I needed to know."

At the same time, Sasuke Uchiha and his party had reached Konoha, resurrected the Hokage and told them what had happened and what they needed to know.

"By the way…" Sasuke asked aloud. "Any idea how Naruto managed to beat someone who destroyed the village in one move?"

"WHAT?!" The first, second and third hokage screamed at the thought of their village gone.

The only Sannin in the room thought for a while.

"Well, maybe Jiraiya did find a worthy student of senjustu after all."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait…." Madara froze. "He not only has mastered the Kyuubi and defeated Nagato…but he's a sage?"

The former clan head was shaking, tough he wasn't sure if it was out of anger or realization of just what kind of ninja the Kyuubi vessel had turned out to be.

"Oh. Dear. Kami. You kidnapped a Jinchuriki-Sage's love interest. How did you even do that? Never mind, I don't want to know."

"Why are you so worried?" Tobi asked. "Yes, he can take in energy from nature to make himself stronger, but for no more than a few minutes; more than enough time for you or I…"

"Did you learn nothing under me?" Madara roared. "Senjutsu…the power of nature itself! It doesn't matter how he learnt it or who taught him, the mere fact that a PERFECT JINCHURIKI has sage powers, the nine tails no less…do I really need to continue?"

Sakura nodded no.

"You stay out of this." Tobi hissed. "The Zetsu will buy us time."

A small army's worth of the plant men was then thrown towards the duo and their prisoner. Half of them had become real trees, the rest were all groaning in pain.

"D-demon…" One struggled to say in complete terror.

The trio could feel thundering, enraged footsteps.

"Y-yeah…." Madara groaned. "You know what? I think I'm going to head back to the underworld. At least there I can sully in my own grief. Who knows, maybe I can find Hashirama and duke it out with him."

With that, Madara began doing the handseals to cancel Reanimation.

"What about the Eye of the Moon plan?" Tobi asked.

"Try again when the child of destiny isn't around!" Madara hissed as he finished the seals. "Better yet, actually kill him as a baby! Why the #%!* did you wait until he was 15 to make a move?"

"We needed the seal needed to weaken!" Tobi hissed back, some pleading in his voice. He had waited years for this moment, his ancestor/master was not going to ruin this for him!

"I never said anything of that!" Madara roared. "As long as the biju were sealed up, you could've done it right away. Kami! This is what I get for sending a descendant to do a founder's job! See you in the underworld, Obito! Good luck with the kid!"

Tobi was soon left holding his captive, who he was sure was smirking under her gag.

"What the hell are you staring at, pinky?" he hissed, beyond annoyed.

Sakura used her foot to point beside them. There was Naruto, unrivalled fury in his eyes and cracking his knuckles.

For some reason, everything Madara had said finally dawned on Tobi and he feared the blonde in front of him.

"Hello Madara." Naruto smirked evilly as a giant fox shroud covered him. "We need to talk…"

Just then, Killer Bee arrived on the scene, fully transformed as well.

Tobi then did something he had not done since his first B-ranked mission; he whimpered:

"Mommy…."

_50 minutes of pent-up vengeance-fuelled beatings later…._

"We came for nothing?" Hashirama pouted. "Where's Madara?"

"Forget about him, where's Naruto?" Minato hissed, his son being his first concern.

Tobirama focused his sensory abilities, trying to detect a chakra similar to that of his blonde brother-in-rank.

"10 miles due west." He later announced. "He's battling someone with a chakra that seems to be a mix of Uchiha and Hashirama's wood style…"

Minato and Sasukue had vanished the instant they'd heard the word battle.

"I don't think they used Flying Thunder God that time." Hiruzen noted.

"Brother," Tobirama announced to his sibling, "Madara's chakra signature is gone. Seems he was sealed away."

Hashirama pouted.

"No fair. He comes back from the dead and doesn't even bother waiting for me, that jerk."

"Sensei, come on!" Hiruzen commanded.

Tobi was laying on the ground, utterly humiliated and broken.

"And that ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls and those of unspecified grouping…." Naruto smirked evilly. "Is why you do not screw with the son of the fourth Hokage and apprentice of Granny Tsunade."

He then turned to Sakura, worry in his eyes.

"You okay, Sakura-chan?"

The pink haired medic smiled and gave him a hug.

"A bit shaken up, more pissed at him getting me than anything. How about you?"

"Well…considering I just got payback for all the crap I went through as a kid, avenged my folks, emptied my chakra reserves at least three times while fighting with legendary ninja all day and tussled with the Raikage, not too bad."

Sakura cringed.

"You…what?"

Killer Bee then butt it and repeated what his fellow jinchuriki's words in rap.

"Does he do that often?" Sakura asked.

"You have no idea." Naruto deadpanned.

Just then, two familiar faces appeared

"Sasuke?" The two Konoha nin asked before the boy cringed.

"Dad?"

"How long before I can expect some grandkids?" Minato smiled at the blush on his son and the rosette's faces.

"Dad, we're 15! And you're dead!"

"…your point?"

_**AN: And there you have it, a little humorous story.**_

_**Read and Review!**_


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